Nick, Jimmy and John met at Cambridge Widows events and were helped by the experience of meeting others in the same position. They were inspired to create a similar group for widowed men, to provide friendship, understanding and support. Here they explain why.

“Losing a life partner is a new experience for us, it leaves a hole in our lives that will not go away.  Some days are better than others, but it is always there.  The sympathy of friends is welcome, but there is a barrier between your experience and theirs.  The world expects you to say you are doing fine, even when you are not.  The thing that helps - not a comfort, much less a cure, but just somehow a help - is talking to others in the same place as yourself. 

The three widows who set up Cambridge Widows  have created a tremendously valuable safe space to do just this.  As widowers we have been helped too from the experience of their Widowed Walk and Widowed Sing events, and three of us want to extend this by setting up informal monthly widower get-togethers.  We are keen to invite others to participate, and to hear further ideas of what we could do.”

- Nick

“Although Luise had battled cancer for 18 years and we knew the prognosis was not good, it still came as a shock when she died. Suddenly there was this massive hole in my life. The children were grown up and had fled the nest some years before. Being alone in the house was awful. No one to chat to, no one to tease, to scratch my back or make the bed with. No one to discuss the day and who we had seen and what they had done. Just this empty feeling. I have wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive but for the most part they didn't ‘get it’. Didn't understand that feeling like a part had been cut out of of you. When I first went along to the Cambridge Widows choir event it was such a relief to be with people who knew what you were going through.”

-Jimmy

“Meeting members of Cambridge Widows for a walk was a revelation, they all ‘get it’, and it was instantly so easy to to open up without feeling embarrassed, or scared of being boring. I'm hoping that Cambridge Widowers will be able to provide somewhere for men to talk about anything, or nothing, and that we may be able to help each other as we find ourselves solo occupants of a home we had hoped to share for many more years.”

-John

The monthly Cambridge Widowers gatherings will be posted on the Cambridge Widows Events Calendar here.

For more information, get in touch via our Contact page or email cambridgewidowers@gmail.com